Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The history of hypocrisy, Hitler & sensitivities of a Cross


Can a restaurant be named Hitler’s Cross? It seems it can’t because sensitivities are involved. Not of Jews persecuted by Nazis alone, but of those who are dead against persecution of any form.

Six million people were slain by the Nazi thug and so no symbols associated with him -- the name nor the Swastika --can be a cause of a celebration – In this case a celebration of dining.

The place in question is a restaurant in Navi Mumbai (Or New Bombay) which was named Hitler’s Cross.

The Khargar restaurant owner is not a Nazi fan or an opponent of Jews; he just wanted to attract attention, it seems. So do we have the right to attract attention by using offending symbols as a tool?

As a matter of debate and on an idealistic platform the answer is yes, but as the perspective is based on the progress of society as a whole the answer can only be no.

The distinction between fact and fiction, historical perspective and history, racial profiling and radicalism is so blurred that there can be opponents and proponents in the same measure.
It is a thin blood line that separates all these.

From the Third Reich to the controversial Khargar restaurant, history’s tide is swung by extreme postures, whether it is Right of Left. There is no place for another line of thinking. Isn’t that insensitivity?

The Khargar restaurant’s owner bowed to sentiments to rename it Cross Café. Now isn’t Cross a symbol of sacrifice?

Carry on debating, but the Cross Café has grabbed all the attention in Earth and Mars that it no longer needs publicity of any sort.

Figure this out: Elated by the renaming, the secretary of Beth-El synagogue in Panvel, Naomi Massil, hopes to visit it soon. No one is complaining.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Ameesha Patel, SRK & the eulogy of duds



If Bollywood actress Ameesha Patel creates a ruckus at the Airport and starts flinging dirty words on airline staffers how do you think the issue should be dealt with?

She should be treated with kid gloves, according to an HT mus (e) ing, because, we are reminded, she is a celebrity.

If Dean Jones calls a bearded cricketer a terrorist, he would have been just making an off-the-cuff remark, many eminent former Australian cricketers and Harsha Bhogle tell us.

So what if this poor bearded soul with no religious tag were to barge into the HT office in Mahim and start hurling abuses at this apology of a reporter solely because what ever was written was supposedly blasphemous?

Would she invoke the celebrity status to shut her ears and pass off as she wants the airline staffer to do just because the Patel in question was Ameesha?

Sad. Duds just occupy plum positions or perceived plum positions to abuse it.

There is no end to this nonsense.

Shah Rukh Khan tells us that even mothers’ milk is contaminated. Can we all raise a pesticide toast please?

Monday, August 21, 2006

Carry on bunking Brits.


It seems the 3 Rs are being relegated to the backyards by the British.

One out of three employers have confessed to the Confederation of British Industry that they were forced to send staffers for what they call remedial training in reading, writing and Arithmetic. Not bad new for desi BPOs.

Now you know why jobs are coming to India.

The only surprise is that the British are not only poor in Maths, but also their mother tongue.

Sad, because the price they pay or the amount the British economy loses due to this is a cool 10 billion pounds.

That is Rupees 87319966111. Not all that is coming to India, but the significant chunk is.

So Britons, carry on bunking school, because half of the employers believed that school dropouts now a days are worse than dropouts five years ago.

And university graduates aren’t doing better.

Their works are “peppered with grammatical & spelling errors”. That is why the BPO cash counters in India are ringing louder.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Sweet water & the city-state dreams of Mumbai

Exhibiting characteristic ambivalence, the Vilasrao Deshmukh government woke up to the mystery water, which drew hordes of people to Mahim from all over the state, after a night of idiotic frenzy.

The CM warned the people against drinking the sweet water. Government agencies followed suit. The point is that, like last July’s deluge, it was a bit too late, though no disaster happened so far. But what if the water was poisoned? No need to guess.

The Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation, the richest municipal body in the country whose budget exceeds the proportions of many small state governments, said late on Saturday that the water was unfit for drinking. Thanks very much.

And the revelation is that it contained low levels of salt, which could be the reason why it was dubbed sweet. It could be “ an upsurge of ground water” as the state Pollution Control Board says or low levels of salt as BMC claims. But the authorities failed to comb the area to prevent people from flirting with danger.

In a megapolis like Mumbai too many authorities hold jurisdiction over the civic domain. This makes it easy for a free-for-all passing the buck game, if the sweet water were to assume dangerous proportions. Sena-ruled BMC can blame government and government can wash its hands off the Mahim creek itself.

A teeming megapolis like Mumbai needs a different kind of governance and cannot be run under the guidance of a State Government just because it is headquartered here or a Civic body, which is just a battle ground of electoral politics. This is another country carved out of every part of the vast nation that is India. A wonderland turning into a graveyard. Remnants of a dream republic.

The moral of the story is that Mumbai cannot anymore be treated as the capital city of Maharashtra. Mumbai and Maharashtra are two distinct entities. Mumbai is a city-state akin to Singapore. Now, can we have a BMC/Govt joint panel to visit Singapore please?


*****************************************************
For the academic inclined.

Maharashtra Pollution Control Board’s logic:

The sweet water could be a result of an upsurge of ground water, resulting from heavy rainfall. Due to heavy rains, ground water may get fully charged and exert excess pressure, causing cracks in the rocky bottom. Ground water tends to come out through these cracks. Since it is lighter than fresh water it will float on the surface.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Another miracle in Mumbai, as water turns sweet in Mahim

Click here for the latest on the mystery sweet water


Eleven years after Ganpati drank milk, it is the turn of water to turn sweet at Mahim in Mumbai on August 18. Thousands of Mumbaikars are flocking towards Mahim.

The mysterious sweet water appeared from the sea near the shrine of Baba Maqdoom Dargah at Mahim

People started pouring into the spot around 5.30 pm in the evening on Friday, August 18.

People also started collecting the mystery water in bottles.

The majority of people who have come to Mahim to collect the mysterious water are Muslims, media reports said.

Police and local authorities have not bothered to intervene.

(More)

Monday, August 14, 2006

There’s no fizz in the bloody investment talk


Make no mistake, Pepsi, Coca-Cola are in the back-foot and no investments would be reviewed by multi-national firms due to the setback for Colas.


The usual ranting of multi-nationals reviewing investments in India in the wake of action against some states following the alarming revelations by Centre for Scientific Studies should just be ignored.

No sensible MNC would want to ignore a huge opportunity that is India, the only bigger market in the world being Communist China.

In the past few weeks, Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retailer, bowed to the dictates of All China Federation of Trade Unions to allow five trade unions at the organisation’s stores. Wal-Mart has 50 stores which employs 31,000 people in China.

No outburst has come from Wal-Mart after the decision because they know it is the only way they can tap the huge market in China. So there is no use dangling any carrot or stick. Either you accept it or get lost is the Chinese mantra.

Even Google, which swears by privacy laws and defends its right to protect search information in US, bowed to the Chinese regime, though it is another matter that Google’s China search engine could not make much impact against a Chinese competitor.

So if Kerala bans sale and production of Coca-Cola and Pepsi, Wal-Mart wouldn’t shelve its plans to set foot in India. Wal-Mart would only be happy to set shop in Kerala sans Pepsi, Coke. It can mint money from selling anything, not just colas, rather than not being able to set shop at all.

In fact it is aggressively lobbying for that purpose because it doesn’t make business sense to show camaraderie by pulling out or ignoring a huge market to swear allegiance to a firm just because it happens to be multi-national.

Likewise, just because they are multi-nationals and are endorsed by a greedy bunch of Bollywood stars, Coke and Pepsi cannot just have a free-run.

It makes common sense to understand that it is possible or rather easy to live without Colas. They are not vital and hence can be ignored rather than risk a health hazard from a buyers point of view. For the Colas, ignoring India or set backs even in its regional pockets is a huge blow.

So Coca-Cola and Pepsi are at a disadvantage now and not the Indian market vis-à-vis investment potential as is made out to be in sections of media. It is as simple as the fizz when Cola bottles are opened.

Are you listening Indra Nooyi ?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Another Veerappan dies; a newspaper lives on with a design to kill journalism

Contributed By An Unknown Blogger

When editorial freedom in newspapers is curtailed – or cultured – to suit marketing avarice, journalism becomes a game of monkey landing.

And this why The Times of India went nuts with the story headlined'New Veerappan Arrives' (Page-one lead, Bangalore edition and nationpage story in other editions, August 9).

The Bandipur dateline story without a byline proclaimed the arrival ofthe 'new Veerappan,' a 45-year-old man called Imbali Jose from Wayanad district of Kerala, in the Nilgiris jungles.

Jose, TOI told us, isjust as bad as Veerappan and the police want him dead or alive. "Onrecord, however, they refuse to name him, acknowledge him or even talkabout him.

They say they want to kill him first and talk later," itsaid.So, it is a story of inside information, eh? The story that quotes KSNChikkerur, IGP (Karnataka CID, Forest Cell) as saying something "in aprobable reference to Jose," is also reassuring:

"But don't let himbother you… We will get this poacher and his gang. We will also getthose poachers and their gangs. I assure you they will all look thesame when they are dead" Chikkerur told The Times of India.

It also quotes a certain Tito Joseph of the Wildlife ProtectionSociety of India. "Jose, 45, leads a gang that has 6-15 men fromWayanad district of Kerala. The gang members are good marksmen; theyare known to bring down tuskers with one shot at the temple. It isalmost like a trademark shot of the gang,'' says Tito.

The story makes one confession, though: "There is no ready informationon Jose," proclaims the reporter (or the desk person who apparentlystruggled in vain to thrust some credibility upon the story).

"Thisreport – the first on him – is based on information pieced togetherfrom various official and unofficial sources in Kerala, Karnataka andDelhi."Here is some ready information: Jose died. On August 9. The same dayTOI went to town with its flyer exclusive.

But contrary to whatChikkerur said, Jose did not look the same as Veerappan when he died.He didn't have a hole in his head. He died after prolonged illness.With his wife and children by his bedside.

He was in a hospital whenthe Karnataka police were hunting for journalists to buy theJose-Veerappan-ruling-Nilgiris-jungles story.

Here is his obituary:August 9/ Pulpalli (Wayanad, Kerala): Sasimala Imbalil Jose (48), died after prolonged illness on August 9.A small-time poacher accused in a 1997 case of being in possession ofa tiger skin at the Kozhikode bus depot, Jose had been in hospital forseveral months, even as tales of his poaching in Nilgiri junglesfilled the Karnataka police files.

A year ago, Jose started losing his eyesight. Six months ago, he lostboth his eyes. Soon, both his kidneys failed. He died of renalfailure. He is survived by his wife Elsi and sons Joshi and Jobi.

Thefuneral was held at the Sasimala Infant Jesus Church at 10 am onAugust 10. An English Daily on August 9 reported that Jose was actively poachingin the Niligiri jungles where once Veerappan ruled.

A friend who went to Jose with a faxed copy of the newspaper report ended up consoling the bereaved family.

Two officials from the Karnataka Forest Cell rushed to Jose's house to ascertain his death.Post script:Jose was into poaching. But he was no Veerappan.

Probably hecontracted some infection in the jungles. He was fighting death, notkilling elephants for at least a year, while the Karnataka Forest Cell invented a badly needed villain.

Such stories as appeared in TOI appear on Indian newsprint because:

1) The management does not allow reporters to investigate, for the fear of hurting sacred cows who are really milch cows for theadvertisement honchos.

2) The paper needs exciting stories to survive (till journalism dies), but not at the cost of biting the udder too hard.

So, Veerappans who don't release advertisements to newspapers are invented.

3) TOI knows all of the above better than others.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Half-fit Sachin just doesn’t fit in Indian Team



Agreed that Sachin Tendulkar is a champion. But If Tendulkar is not 100 per cent fit, he has no place in the Indian cricket team.

Remember the outcry for dropping a plump Ronaldo during Brazil’s World Cup campaign? Carlos Alberta Peirrera stood by Ronaldo’s glowing career record, but the damage was done.

The team failed to perform as a unit and the gifted Ronaldhino was a shadow of his impeccable self, juggling and jostling too much only to lose possession too many times.

May be Ronaldhino’s conscience was torn between performing his duties to his national side and having to check his flowing skills, purportedly for to play second fiddle to Ronaldo. Brazil lost the world cup just because they had to massage the inflated ego of a former superstar.

If Sachin Tendulkar can’t throw from the deep, he would have to stick to the circle.

Now that is a tricky situation. One it compromises the captain’s options on the field.

Bowling Sachin with a half-baked throwing arm would be a dangerous proposition if the opposition is in full flow or if India is bowling second.

So Sachin’s utility value boils down to a batsman. Now, if he can’t unleash a flurry of shorts due to his injury, then it would mean he would not be playing his natural game.

While playing a controlled game, Sachin is not the best of performers. It is not his cup of tea. For that, we have the ever reliable Raul Dravid.

And remember Sachin was upset when Rahul Dravid declared the innings when he was nearing his double ton. So personal records matter for this champion.

Now, if Sachin were to slow down after his eighties or 40s, Rahul Dravid can’t have the option of declaring because it is a one day game.

Now, do we wan’t a burden of mind games to be forced on a World Cup bound skipper and team just to include a half-fit champion. The answer should be no.

Our hero has let us down by announcing himself available for selection.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Global brands, Indian menace


Pepsi, Coke contain pesticides, so keep guzzling them with Amitabh, Shah Rukh, Sachin and Aamir

In a global survey of top hundred brands done by Business Week, Coca-Cola topped the list of beverage brands and Pepsi came 22nd. Fair enough, but what is unfair is the ease with which these global giants flout norms, or exploit the lack of it, in the emerging market of India.

Three years after a ruckus in the country over high pesticide levels in various brands of these softdrink majors, which turned out to be a sham and culminated in the formation of a parliamentary committee, 57 samples of 11 soft drink brands from 25 plants spread across 12 states found a cocktail of three to five pesticides in them.

The contamination levels were almost 24 times more than that stipulated by the Bureau of Indian Standards. So much for exhaustive statistics.

The point here is that this could not happen anywhere except this dumping ground called India, where celebrity Bollywood stars would shamelessly fall for the megabucks thrown to them as peanuts by the cola majors to vociferously endorse them.

Aamir Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachchan and all those star brand ambassadors can’t care a damn about the alarming insensitivity of these multinational killers. They can’t see through the game because the Greenback has blurred their vision. So don’t think they will stop endorsing colas to our tiny tots. They can’t.

A top health ministry official’s letter to consumer affairs secretary sums up the officialdom’s stand: Bureau of Indian Standards should sit over the standards for beverages it has come up with, till an expert committee deliberates the issue.

Now, everyone knows how expert panels and parliamentary committees work.

Cola majors have just bribed the decision making structure and the opinion makers throughout the country en masse to carry on with impunity the process of exploiting the country’s vast resources and tapping its huge domestic market, with scant regard to universally acceptable norms.

For those who defend the Colas for the sake defending, just think what would have happened in the US or European Union if such a study were to come out?

They will just be banished. That they know and hence they will stick to standards there.
No need to go by that yardstick in India as they could soon gift wrap the colas with the skin of celebrities and the venom of babudom to adorn your neighbourhood shop. Cheers. Amen.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Of human bondage: The ban on child labour in India


If you thought the workforce of India will not have children, defined as those under-14, following a ban by the Union Government, you are a dud.

Take a bet: You will definitely see kids serving you in hotels, innocence in the form of domestic helps and of course beggars, which is a multi-crore profession in Mumbai, India’s supposedly richest metro. Beggars earn Rs 180-crore annually in Mumbai, in case you didn't know.

And you may ask why child labour will flourish despite a joke of a ban.

Because there are over 40 million kids who have never seen a school or just couldn’t waste time to mull over elementary education.

Because even dreaming about food, shelter and clothing is a waste of time for them.

Unlike there fortunate peers, these 40 million kids have to earn a living from the streets to feed their families. They are just thrown out to the cruel struggle which some people call life.

A huge majority of these 40 million work in hazardous industries, which is a recipe for disaster considering their lifestyle as well as inhuman labour conditions .

And the people who run this nation of billion people are notorious for the way they handle rehabilitation programmes.

Will the penalty for flouting the law, which is Rs10,000-Rs 20,000 and a 2-3 year jail term be a deterrent? No.

There are rigorous penalties for various acts of omission and commission which are rarely enforced unless there is a political vendetta behind it in our democratic set up.

The hapless kid is not eligible to vote since he is four years younger than what a our lawmakers think would make them a major. Or mature enough to swallow the whims and fancies of our political masters who run the roadshow called democracy.

Democracy in India means politics; rather politicking. Politicking means power. And in this scheme of things, children of poor parents are just pawns who are in the game by default.

They are doomed. At least till they grow up to be in their own worlds, however murky that may be.

Ground realities of the Indian kind: Jet, Sahara, Hutch, Essar & BPL


Deal-making is as shoddy a work in the emerging market of India as its umpteen television sops aired to make prime time television viewing an ordeal.

The country’s largest airline Jet Airways recently announced a hurried deal to take over Air Sahara, a relatively new player.

Its now common knowledge that the massive valuation of Air Sahara by Jet, just to keep at bay potential suitors including Vijay Mallya, the desi version of Sir Richard Branson, was never in sync with the ground realities.

Air Sahara is just a riddle, not an airline in the strictest sense. It also operates flights.

So the Rs 180 crore Jet paid to Sahara is now as good as a needle lost in the namesake desert. Of course legal battles lie ahead, which is the price for shoddy deal making.

Now, another cracker of a deal is falling apart -- Mobile telephone service providing firm Hutchison Essar-BPL merger in Mumbai circle.

The same reasons that prompted Jet to go for a hurried, short-sighted deal with Sahara has been the underlying principle of the Huchison Essar-BPL drama also – insecurity.

Jet wanted to consolidate its decent presence in the booming aviation industry. Hutch wanted to catch up its ever-losing battle with Airtel.

A better way of dealing with these ambitions was to fine tune its existing operations by playing up its strength rather than swallowing a weak peer.

Jet and Hutchison Essar failed to realize this and rushed through fancy deals which ony caught the fancy of the dealers and shakers in the media. They eventually ended up where they started and perhaps lost some futile crores.

Corporate India has to understand that management strategies churned out in business schools are not sacrosanct. Ground realities are. If only Naresh Goel and his battery of advisors knew that.
And this laconic oneliner should suit future Hutch ads: wherever you go, deal-making is not as cool as the green grass, blue skies and the pug.